Ohbalto Online Welcome to the new blog. Same as the old blog.

Doctor Who, Hobbits and SheepPosted by dhoffman on August 9th, 2010

Here are ten awesome fan-made Doctor Who posters.  Seems to be a French site (I don’t think we should hold that against them) but the important bits are in English if you’re not-so-much with the parlez vous francais like I am:

Doctor Who Fan Posters

In keeping with the Doctor Who theme, here’s another cool link to wallpaper in the style of The Simpsons:

Doctor Who Wallpaper

And, so long as I’m link-dumping, here’s a page with awesome pictures from Matamata in New Zealand — Hobbiton from the Lord of the Rings films.  Now that Hobbits no longer live there, some new folks have moved in.

And by “folks” I mean, of course, sheep.

The Doctor, Why Feeling Like a Fraud Means You’re Not, and Good Ideas at the GymPosted by dhoffman on February 23rd, 2010

First off, here’s a trailer for the new season of Doctor Who (with Matt Smith as the new Doctor):

And, if you’ll pardon me for a moment while I jump up and down in my seat and shriek like a little girl . . .

. . . okay, thanks.

Also, here’s a neat blog post, No One Knows What the F*** They’re Doing.  I feel this summarizes, nicely, well, my approach to being a human being.  If you wanted a summary (and it’s really worth a read, it’s this: acknowledging that there are things you’re good at, and things you’re not good at is the key to success (and not causing others to die and such).

But you really should read it.

====================

Last night was for writing but it was more for organization than actual writing.  Oh, I wrote about a thousand words, and am rather pleased with the words I got, but the important stuff was before that.

I went to the gym, you see.  Going to the gym has a couple nice benefits:

(1) I exercised, so I feel good, and healthy, and may not die soon.

(2) my mind wandered and did some thinking without consulting me and I had a couple magnificent ideas, including (but not limited to) the answer, I think, to a question about the final third of Animals.

So, that’s a very good thing, I’d say.

Animals seems broken up into thirds, and those thirds themselves broken up again into thirds.  Sort of.  I wrote out the story as a sort of outline last night — something I never could have done before writing it — and was pleased to see that things actually made sense to me.  This may be one of those books where the second reading is vastly different from the first reading, once you know how everything fits together.  It’s also fun in that there’s an entire other book that will only appear in brief bits on the pages which affects this book.

It’s complicated, but honest, it makes sense.

Tonight is gaming, but given how late I’ve been getting started, I’m hopeful I’ll get some more writing done.  I know how to finish this chapter (Six) and how to start the next one (Seven).  I think I can get about half-way through that before I need to start scratching my head again — but maybe not.

There may or may not be a Chapter Eight, but from there I should be in territory I can transport over almost whole-cloth from the First Draft.  “Almost” being the most important word in that sentence.

Good stuff.  Working is always better than not working.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the DalekPosted by dhoffman on January 5th, 2010

This is, um, pretty much the best thing ever.

Merry Christmas from BBC One and The DoctorPosted by dhoffman on December 7th, 2009

Just loving this so very much:

The Muppets Perform Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”Posted by dhoffman on November 25th, 2009

There’s almost nothing at all I can say about this video that will be better than watching it for yourself.

It’s the Muppets.  Performing Queen’s famous song, Bohemian Rhapsody.  Do you need more?  No?  Good, because other than typing the word “awesome!” a hundred times, then maybe typing it a hundred more, I really don’t have anything useful to add.

Here you go:

Missing Star Trek ShatnerKirk ScenePosted by dhoffman on November 23rd, 2009

I think I’ve been up front about this in the past but I’m not really a Star Trek fan.  Well, that’s not true, exactly.  What it is is this: I’ve never really watched the shows.

Oh, I watched the original shows, as reruns with my dad, when I was a kid.  And again, recently, with the HD re-releases, by way of iTunes.  And I saw that not-nearly-as-awful-as-everyone-says-but-still-pretty-fucking-dull Star Trek: The Motion Picture in its original theatrical release (and enjoyed a nice, deep slumber).

I believe I’ve seen the rest of the movies, up through First Contact, in the theater, as well.

I never watched Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager or Generations (that’s all of them, right?).  Which is to say, I might have been in a room when they were on, but I didn’t *watch* them — which is to say, *follow* them.

But still, I like Star Trek.  I think the original crew is the best.  I love the fact that, culturally, James T. Kirk has sort of become . . . well, almost a mythological figure.  You can say, “Captain Kirk” and people know what you’re talking about, same as if you’d said Dracula or Superman or Hercules.

Which is to say, they’d know vaguely what you’re talking about.  They’d be aware that Captain Kirk had a space ship and they’d know about Spock’s ears and they’d know some other stuff — tribbles, Kahn, hot green alien girls.

Same as they might know Dracula’s name but not that the “fearless vampire hunters” are Harker, Godalming, Seward and Van Helsing.  Superman fights Lex Luthor and maybe they know that, but they probably don’t know about other, lesser-known villains.  Hercules?  Maybe they think of Lou Ferigno or (gasp!) Kevin Sorbo, but do they know in the original myth, he brutally murdered his wife (while, I believe, under another god’s control, but what can you do, right)?

So: Captain Kirk.  James Tiberius Kirk.  A part of the language.  I really dig that, the notion of that.  It’s something (almost) from my lifetime that could just live on with us, as a people, forever.  A hundred years from now, will future astronauts jokingly call their commander, “Captain Kirk”?  Maybe.

All this is preamble for the following.  It’s the original scene, as written but never (so far as I know) filmed, from J.J. Abrams’ recent Star Trek movie.  I’d heard about it, and honestly, reading it, God, I wished they’d filmed it.  It would have been just the barest taste of William Shatner.  Just enough to make folks have little geekgasms.  Not too much — and in no real context — to overshadow the new cast.

And it would have tied things together beautifully.

So, here you go, first, the link: Linky-Poo.

And here, in case it gets pulled, or something, the quote in full.  Obviously, if you haven’t seen the film . . . well, what are you waiting for?  The thing came out on DVD and Blu-Ray last Tuesday.  Get with it.

Here you go:

This begins during the scene where Spock Prime meets Quinto’s Spock at the end of the film:

Conversational Vengeance – A True StoryPosted by dhoffman on September 10th, 2009

It’s happened to everyone, right?  You’re out at a party or some sort of gathering and you get stuck talking to that guy.  You know that guy; no matter what you say, he’s got to shoot you down.  He turns his nose up at you.  You’re no good (no matter who you are or what you do).  He’s up there in the Stratosphere and you’re crap.

Well, everyone, this story is for you:

True Tales of Conversational Vengeance – Nerd World – TIME.com.

God, that had to be satisfying.

Three People Who’ve Never Been In My KitchenPosted by dhoffman on June 29th, 2009

Cliff Clavin.  When you read that name, what do you think of?  More, who do you think of?

If your answer is, “the mailman on Cheers”, good on ya.  If your answer is, “what the hell are you on?” . . . well, I guess that’s what we have Wikipedia for.

For the former group, I’m pleased to present the following.  It’s a Youtube clip of Cliff’s magnificent, (almost) triumphant appearance on Jeopardy:

Piracy, Theft, Copyright Infringement and How We Rationalize Doing Bad Things Just Because We WannaPosted by dhoffman on April 8th, 2009

There are several online discussions I see going on concerning the issue of theft, piracy and copyright infringement.  The spark which lit this fire is the recent leak of a workprint of Fox’s Wolverine movie, and the firing of a Fox freelance columnist who downloaded, reviewed, and further, bragged about his piracy in that review.

Fox fired him.  Good for them.

Rather than waste valuable time engaging simpletons in a pointless debate (ha), I figured I’d pop up a post and then consider the issue — or, my role in it — finished.

To wit: I think stealing someone else’s created content is wrong.

There, that was easy.

Oh, but I also think it’s so damned easy to download pirated content that anyone who says folks aren’t going to do it is kidding himself.

Huh?

Yeah, it’s a catch-22.  The simple fact is that the law is well behind the technology in this issue.  And what I find irksome about content piracy (one mental giant insists on calling it, “copyright infringement” which I think is fallacious but if it makes him feel better about stealing, more power to him), is the sense of entitlement folks exhibit over the issue.

I saw one stalwart fellow who insisted that if a movie was out in theaters, but not in his area, then it would be alright to illegally download it online.

Another moral crusader wrote that if a movie was no longer out in theaters, but had not yet been released on DVD, then he feels justified in downloading it to watch, “in the meantime”.

That, “in the meantime” there cracks me up.  I wonder if anyone who’s ever said, “oh, I’m stealing it now, but when it comes out, I’ll totally buy it!” has ever followed through on that promise.

Oh, of course they have.  They’re the special one, right?

The problem, if there is a problem at all, is that sense of entitlement.  The internet makes EVERYTHING available right now, so we want EVERYTHING right now.  And if we can’t have it, well, then that’s not fair.

Think about that a moment: a product of entertainment that cost millions of dollars and hundreds, possibly thousands of man-hours, is perhaps not available for purchase right this moment, and so we should steal it.

It’s the movie’s fault, clearly.  How dare it not be available to us right now?  Seriously!

Or, if it is available, then how dare it cost so much?  I don’t have $19.99 burning a hole in my pocket right now.  Why, it’s so expensive, it’s like they WANT us to steal it!

That sense of immediacy permeates our entire culture.  If we can’t have it (whatever, “it” may be) right now, we pitch a fit.  Well, maybe it’s a good thing not to have whatever you want, whenever you want it.

Listen: I don’t sit on high in judgment of people who download a movie or a CD or something.  God knows I’m not lily-white on the matter.  I was in high school turning vinyl records into cassettes to bring into the car, copying friends’ cassettes so I didn’t have to buy my own, even copying CD’s, first to cassettes, later to CD-R’s of my own.

When the first iPod came out, yeah, I went onto Napster or whatever and I downloaded music.  I also ripped EVERYTHING I had on CD and added ito to my iPod (I still have it in a drawer somewhere — ah, the green screen!)

The problem I have isn’t with folks stealing content, no.  That’s going to happen.  Technology makes piracy as inevitable as someone breaking the speed-limit.  If your car CAN go faster than 35 mph, why wouldn’t you?  I mean, everyone does it, right . . . and if you do it a hundred times and only get caught once, well, it’s not YOUR fault you got the ticket, is it?  Of course not — it’s that asshole cop, right . . . ?

The problem is the attitude.  If you break the rules, if you steal, or speed, or whatever, at least have the dignity to own your rule-breaking.  Don’t rationalize it by saying everyone else does it, so you should get to.  Don’t rationalize theft as “copyright infringement”, or by feigning some sad excuse for hardship (“oh, I missed it in the theater and don’t want to wait another month for it to come out on video”).  Just admit you’re stealing content and move on with your life.

It reminds me of the old joke, about how there are two different kinds of men: those who masturbate and those who lie about masturbating.

If you’re that rare, delicate flower who’s never, ever downloaded something they didn’t buy.  Who’s never copied a friend’s CD, or had someone email you a song you liked, well bully for you.  You’re a better person than I am.

But, the rest of us sniveling dogs out here collecting the disparate ones and zeroes floating around out there in the ether, CD’s might be expensive, DVD’s more so, but if we’re not going to pay for the goddamned content, the least we could do is own the fact that we’re not paying for it, and acknowledge that theft, no matter how you pretty it up or rationalize it, is still just that: theft.

=========================

Oh, and as a personal aside from someone whose greatest ambition in life is to make his living as a “content provider”, I’d just like to say that, if the worst thing that ever happens to me in my writing career is that a whole lot of people are scrambling over one-another to download and pirate something that I wrote, well, that’d be just fine by me.

So, please, steal my books.  Steal ‘em all and make copies for your friends because I really do believe that, if folks are doing that, even more folks would be out there in the wild paying for their own copies.

And that’s the ultimate joke here: if folks want it badly enough to steal, chances are good more folks will want it badly enough to pay for.

Adama at the U.N. — Now With Video!Posted by dhoffman on March 20th, 2009

Oh, excellent, someone’s posted video of Edward James Olmos, Battlestar Galactica’s Admiral Adama, speaking at the United Nations earlier this week.

Here you go, folks:

“So Say We All!”

Pretty awesome . . .